The Curious Case of the Missing Wives
by TeaLogic
Summary: A drabble in Retirement AU. Watson is in for a shock when a reader becomes interested in his love life


A little drabble thingy in response to a well conducted investigation on just how many wives the charming Doctor Watson had. The writer concluded that Watson had been married SIX TIMES. Needless to say being a major fan of the 'one wife' theory, I nearly choked on my chocolate and now feel a little naïve... _Six wives? _

_**A drabble, in Retirement AU and a bad attempt at humour.**__ If there is any problems, errors or critique let me know, it is warmly welcomed =)_

**Disclaimer:** Sherlock Holmes belongs to Arthur Conan Doyle. I own nothing. The article _Counting Watson's Wives _belongs to Brad Keefauver.

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The Curious Case of the Missing Wives

In the cottage Watson and I shared for the remainder of our retirement years a calm stillness had settled over the morning. I had sat down for breakfast and was poking though the post when Watson came in with a soft "Morning Holmes". I handed him one heavy letter, which he opened with the letter knife that rested on the mantelpiece. He leaned against the wall reading and I had paid no attention to him, reading my own letters. That is until I heard a choked angry splutter.

"That's- That is insane!"

I faced him with a look of confusion; a page was shaking dangerously in his hands as he glared at it.

"Watson?"

"Absolutely preposterous! Who on earth would write to me about such a thing!"

"Watson, what on earth are you so angry about?"

"A letter from one of my readers!"

"My goodness," I replied in mock surprise "you still have readers?"

He glowered at me, "Of course I have readers. I'm still writing Holmes, what with your weekly requests to include at least another ten cases within my stories" His eyes went back to the letter, "Oh, and I can't _believe _this"

"What is it about old boy? Some critique?" Watson didn't reply as he sat down opposite me, taking the remaining pages out of the envelope "Surely _The Strand _wouldn't be having you if your writing had suddenly declined in quality"

"Oh I wish!" He said bitterly, "No, it is another matter entirely. Listen to this, 'After careful study and chronicling of your past fifty plus stories, I have concluded that you have been married exactly six times-'"

Having taken a sip of tea at the time, it took a tremendous effort not to suddenly spit it back out.

"_What?_"

"Here!" He threw the letter across the table, where it spanned over three separate sheets of paper and increasing my curiosity. Surely it would make for interesting reading. I glanced at Watson's letter, instantly amused that the writer had been a male and was discreetly asking for marriage advice amongst his stunning conclusion. Despite the obvious hilarity, it was remarkably accurate, with detailed 'evidence' and explanation not far off the criminal reports I had seen at the Yard.

Oh, what if it _had_ come from some busybody at Scotland Yard?

"How many times have you said you had a wife," I said delicately whilst biting down a laugh and moving on the next page "when actually you didn't?"

"Oh, how would I know! The amount of times we have had to say some excuse and that I wasn't with you because we thought we were being followed or something else had happened?"

That was true. There had been once or twice a time where we had said Watson had another home to go to, when actually we had said this in order to increase the chance of catching the criminal under this pretence. Watson and I knew there was only ever one woman whom he loved.

However, amusingly it had led to _this_. My, this letter had such a serious undertone. Watson was clearly unaware of his many admirers. "I wonder who else has" I muttered to myself.

"Who else has what?"

"Taken your little plot fillers seriously"

"They were just ploys," He said faintly, running his hand worriedly though his hair "I never would have dreamt that someone could even think-"

"Watson, calm yourself" I soothed, "You are clearly a pillar of interest" I hurried on to the final page, my eyes widening at one particular sentence, "Even more so when the reader accuses you of being currently betrothed to our dear Mrs Hudson"

Now it was Watson's turn to try and refrain from spitting out any remainder of the breakfast. He snatched the paper out of my hands and groaned.

"What am I going to do?" He whispered as I placed a cup of tea in his shaking hands.

"Well, I think you should pay a visit to this-" I picked up the envelope and flipped it over, "Mr Grayson? Sounds familiar"

"I am not going anywhere," His eyes darted at me, "and neither are _you_"

"Well, he must be in desperate need of marriage advice, especially since he finds the time to investigate your tangled love life"

I was surprised Watson's teacup didn't shatter as he slammed it on the table. "Shut up"

"And I think Mrs Hudson should be informed of your current engagement, perhaps we should throw some sort of party?"

"Holmes, _shut up_" He leaned over and plucked the whole letter out of my hands.

"And perhaps-"

"Holmes, unless you want to be encased in one of your bee-hives, I suggest you keep quiet and never mention this again" He stood, making headway for the fireplace with the letter in his hands; it didn't take a great amount of deduction to guess what his motive was.

"Oh, of course my dear Watson" I said airily, also standing and thinking of tending to my bees. As I was out the door I couldn't help but mutter "I hope Sir Henry is not too insanely jealous when he hears of this"

It's quite remarkable how well Watson's hearing has fared over the years. And also fast Watson can move when intensely annoyed.


End file.
